The
Capay Phenomena
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The Information Library Quote Book Here are the quotes. If you haven't already done so then you must read this disclaimer.
(Re Trending) It's pretty difficult with one day's data. Dave Earl The thing about going to see process leaders is they haven't developed the process yet. Dave Bayliss Is there an Organisation Diagram ? Steve Pearson. Instead of talking 'technologies' we're talking 'services'. Steve Pearson. I haven't been up there in real time recently. Don't Know EIS is for the functionally challenged. GK (HP)? My Mother's got the dog's ashes sitting on the sideboard. Mike Cook. Mike, either sort out your hiccups or get another job ! Steve Holt to Mike Cook The front of the car's like that, and the skip's like that. Keith Roberts Kev, you remind me of Lee Majors. Steve Pearson God forbid there's something in Glaxo that tells you how to do something, rather than what you have to do. Steve Pearson Don't know. Yes. Probably. Mike Cook. He wasn't smiling at me this morning. Mike Cook re Bill Smiles. I just took 16,000 Items on the database and it only took 10 minutes. Keith Roberts. You're a born User, Alastair. Mike Capay Alan's a reasonable guy! Steve Pearson, and one month later, Scott Condliffe. Dickie Davies. Steve Holt. Alastair jumped on me, and I woke up with cramp. RS There's no 'a' in Lunch. Keith Roberts He specialises in everything. MG? I'm not having a nervous breakdown yet. Keith Roberts He comes from the 'Happy Hackers' school of Computing. Keith Roberts I'll just finish this and I'll be OK. pause... Oh F***! Keith Roberts I'm too f***in' tired to think about a footer. Norman Elliot I couldn't give two shits! Norman Elliot Honestly Terry, this place is a bloody mess. Norman Elliot You don't build strategic systems based on packages whose marketing philosophy is 'Buy two, get one free'. Norman Elliot There's fifty years of I.T. Experience in this car. Norman Elliot I don't believe you can get to the point of earning £9.6 million without looking somebody in the eye. Mike Capay What's the point of coming back focussed on delivery when your poxy mouse doesn't work. Steve Pearson Is there anything significant about sex ? JL? I want a volunteer to stock things on the wall. Nicki Cole If I did a brain dump then it's all there <fx:points to paper> and it's not here <fx:points to head> anymore! JL? No names, no tasks, no plans, no chance. Steve Pearson on MRPII Performance Measurement Implementation. I'm not shouting! I'm emphasising certain words. Dave Earl (By e-mail) Is your wedding dress pink or lemon? DM? Will you send a cab to 6 Private Road please? Kevin Norris It's fluid relative to the fact that we know we have to deliver. Norman Elliot re Project Plan These Quality people tend to be so pedantic. Dave Earl Why are you worried about the Helpdesk going to Group? It can only get better. Mike Capay (these words were later eaten) Who needs drugs when you work round here? Terry Foster I feel very comfortable about not actually doing anything. Steve Bingham? Everything that's gone before is history. DC? If HP were asked to sell Sushi, we'd market it as cold, dead fish. GK? God made the world in seven days, but he didn't have legacy systems to contend with. Mark Albert, as related by Terry Foster. I've got to track down a bloke called Dick in Germany. Dave Earl I haven't drunk so much in one day since... er, yesterday. Steve Pearson If you sit at your desk long enough in this place, bizarre things happen. Steve Pearson I'm beginning to get entitied out now. Mike Capay I'm confused about your confusion. RS? Escalator looked like an IMD Garage job. John Lisle I think you need some Bongo drums in the background. Nicki Cole. There's a contradiction here. Oh no there isn't. Steve Pearson. We've only got four quality people. No, three and Darren Mustoe. Steve Pearson. Beer's thicker than blood. Keith Roberts. You're a sad person.
Sue Parker You wouldn't sell Christianity without JC walking around doing a few miracles. Keith Roberts I don't know as much as Paul about this. Kamil Tiar What's this ODS going to be like? Is it anything like The Escalator? Mike Capay The only person who's sadder than Keith (who's very sad) is Norman, who's the most miserable git in all the world. Sue Parker It's taken a very boring subject and made it very boring. Mike Capay re ETI training Well, unfortunately, I'm in Paris. Nikki Cole I'm going to carry on generating paper, 'cos that's what I do best. SC? A miss is as good as a Muir. Sue Parker It could be a bonus, having ASKPLUS on your cv. Keith Roberts The paperless office is about as realistic as the paperless toilet - they're both socially unacceptable. Benj (Wellcome? A little bit of width isn't going to hurt you. Norman Elliot It's just about three inches longer than this ruler. GS? If it doesn't come up in the morning, you'll know to contact the Oracle team. Jeremy Hullah Terry Foster was fondling my otters. Sue Parker The new disk is coming on Monday, so we shouldn't have these problems. Sue Parker Just when you think you've reached rock bottom, Mike comes along with a spade. Scott Condliffe I've been wondering what I've been doing here for twenty-five years. Mike Capay That's no excuse! People have babies every day of the week. I want the disk today. Sue Parker There is clearly a difference of opinion over what is a bug and what is an enhancement. Sebastian Muir I don't think we're in the game of doing what we're asked for. Norman Elliot We don't build anything. Norman Elliot Free, flowing, functioning of the project. Keith Roberts For the first time ever, a yellow toilet. I've never seen a yellow toilet before.
Gary Lines You've got to pull it back a bit and wobble it. Scott Condliffe to CS? My friend's just come out of psychiatric care and he wants to live in Ware. Scott Condliffe There's so much snot in that one person. Sue Parker Social life ? I haven't got one, I'm married. Gerallt Hughes I think it's too volumetric to fax. Norman Elliot User requirement specs are going to have a lot of shit in them. Steve Pearson. My word is good enough. Dennis Baum Which is more difficult, ASKPLUS or Mike Capay? Sue Parker Is proactively doing nothing a viable option? Mike Cook I'm not nasty, I'm just a bit caustic. Sue Parker The monitoring facility is available, just not to the operations department. Ian Bland (GIS) No I haven't read the quality plan, but my husband has. He thought it was a bit biased. Claire Bain I'm going to be left holding the golden goose. Norman Elliot Non-specifically site specific. Norman Elliot You're always there when I need you but sometimes there when I don't. Keith Roberts Everything up to the red bit is mine. Keith Roberts It's the Glaxo Ops equivalent of the new Amenities Centre. Sue Parker I'm a very tight person with a very tight wallet. Keith Roberts Sexy GUI sizzle. Norman Elliot There's no point in doing a sanity check anywhere me. Mike Capay Angela Mann's got something to learn about team working. Mike Capay That section is not missing. I've decided to leave it out at the moment to save on Paper. Keith Roberts (He then switched his PC back on to prove that the title of the section was actually in place) I'll see your whinge and raise you a better whinge. Tony Ashworth to Mike Capay The account manager needs to have his hands on the ball... Both of them... Hands I mean! Gary Stratton Is Mike Clennel here?
Mike Melia Though it's variable, it has to be fixed. Scott Condliffe We are process policemen. Keith Roberts We get multiple bites within a multiple bite approach. Norman Elliot I thought Norm had farted. Sue Parker You are right - but you are wrong as well. Norman Elliot He spends so much time away from home now, his dog bites him. Les Douglas re Alex Middleton Then leather biker man from Mars. SG? Dave, did we send Alex Middleton a full set of documentation? Steve
Pearson You have to pull it out and then put it back in again. Fiona Nichols to Rob Lambert |